MY LIFE WITH WOMAN

Forward

Here is how it is... from my side anyway.

We all have stories of sex and our first sexual interactions. We are born this way. 
I don't believe there should be limitations for what sexuality you feel in any given moment.
You must drink water. You must be sexual. They are the same. Basic human needs.

The becoming of who we are as a sexual beings is a very sensitive subject. Taboo. Wrong. Embarrassing.
We figure it out on our own, the road there is not paved and can be extremely rocky.... for most of us.

I love sex. I love, loving sex.
I felt guilty about it forever and I think telling stories about loving it, from an early age, is damn incredible:)
It's honest, and it could be humiliating... but you are unaffected, that is why I love this.
I want to be raw and unashamed, we all do.

It's beautiful...an untouched part of being human, the vulnerability of the beginning of being a sexual person.
A lot of people feel shame in it.  It's supposed to be "saved for love or someone special",  yet it's who we are.

I think it is so artistically brilliant, that you found a way to take something we all have but don't dare share.
even with our closest confidants. You put it out there for everyone to relate to in private. Take my word for it,
Payne, I think it's pretty special, I'm impressed.

Deven Dawson
Artist - Chef and Friend
New Orleans, LA


Introduction

I am choosing to write a book about my life in love or at least what I know as love. This book will share the path that led me to be who I am in relationship to woman.  Lust and love have always been a substantial part of my life, but merely brief spaces in between a life on the observing end of love. My encounters with woman have been nothing less than spectacular, always entertaining and most times funny. The memories remind me of who I am and how I got here, things I never want to forget, things that guide me today.

My father was a professional football coach, it was a magical childhood for a kid who liked football and with that fun and fame came a lot of moving. I moved 9 times before I graduated from high school and attended 4 different high schools in four different states. I continued this gypsy notion into my adult life and have moved 34 times to date. 

Establishing a meaningful romantic relationship wasn't and hasn't been easy for me to say the least, but I have never given up that pursuit.  Today at 49 years old I definitely have my concepts of why my love life is the way it is, and why I seem to have the inability to make love stick. I question whether or not these notions are stale and I hope that in the exploring of these stories, tracing my love history, I will get closer to an evolution in my love life.

When asked the question, ”why have you not been married?”  or paraphrased, "what is wrong with  you?"  I laugh and can only say that nothing is "wrong" with me, simply that I have not met her yet. I truly believe this.  I have encountered many women and have shared levels of love that were very special, yet feel like I have never experienced the kind of love I have expected to find, the kind that lasts. 

In the process of writing this book, I will be sharing my journal entries from as young as 6. The stories aren’t ones you typically share, they confess my truths about sex and love. My intent, in theory, is to get closer to that which eludes me, a clearer path to love. So hold on tight and see where this takes us.

Prologue

6/6/2010 - 8:30         Boone Saloon

Sitting here in my favorite seat at the saloon, the corner seat,
the one with the best view, a seat that may as well be mine.
I have sat here many times the first time i lived in Boone.
These were days of being mostly alone, in the days of sweet sue, or so not sweet ?

Good beer, music, my journal and plenty of distractions. I am getting back to me.
There is a solace in this isolation, a comfort in my thoughts, I feel safe.
This is the kind of healing that I am comfortable with, me and a bar stool, a beer and a pen.

I have met some wonderful people here, I know that… regardless of the pain i feel.
These wonderful people are reaching out to me and I have barely lived here for a week.
Great folks, I really like being around all of them, beautiful, new friends, with sweet kids... 
Right now however, they only remind me of what has eluded me so many times, what deceives me today... a woman. 

I sitting here and a new friend just walked up and tried to comfort me by saying,
"be patient Payne, every one in this town gets a turn". 
I think I know what he means by that, but I'm not ready to get back in line.
I'm hurt. 

I'm pissed off to be truthful.  Here is the crazy thing. 
I'm sitting here with this feeling of loss, of failure, with all this pain... 
and I am still pathetically, hopefully, looking towards the door, waiting for someone to walk in. 
My broken heart still yearns for that special woman to sit near to me, catch my eye, and smile that forever smile.

Crazy shit!
I need to examine all this, why am I here?
What have I done or not done?

1. The Age of Innocence

My grade school memories of girls are fun. I knew from a very young age that women were important to me. I was very curious about every part of a woman. This was an easy time in life as I recall. I was raised the son of a professional football coach and living in small, Canadian football towns, was magical.  I was too young to be so concentrated on girls and football, but to me that's all there was. There was so much joy to be had in both and everything was innocent, everything was new.

I learned most of what I "knew" about women from magazines and books we found in the alley garbage bins. I wanted to be closer to them, find out more about them, and was I lucky. I had two older sisters, so relating and being able to talk to girls was fairly simple for me at an early age. Understanding and predicting them, that was a different story.

Pricilla

9.5.1973

my first day of first grade. i don’t think kindergarten was this much fun.
today i got on my towel for nap time and didn’t think about the underwear models.
i saw the new girl next to me. her eyes were closed so i stared at her nice blonde hair.
she is like the princess in the story. she is really pretty. i hope she will be my friend.

9.23.1973

just had my 7th birthday, me and pricilla have become good friends.
we sit together every chance we get. during lunch. book time and always
on movie days when the lights are out. we hold hands.
the teachers think it is cute. i don’t care as long as i can hold her hand.

9.24.1973

i am going over to pricillas house to swim today. i am cant wait to see her.
i want to kiss her today.

9.24.1973

that was crazy, we had to sit in a kitty pool with parents watching.
they thought it was fun to watch us. pricilla liked it but not me. i wanted out of the pool the whole time.
she has a teepee in the back yard and i wanted to be in that teepee.
finally when the parents went inside and we got in the teepee. i got my first kiss. i liked it. i like pricilla.

10.15.1973

me and pricilla are in love. my sister says puppy love.
i like everything about her except the poster she has of leif garret on her wall.
i was forced to stare at it for today for a long time. i was hiding.
she snuck me into the house and into her room.  i stayed in the closet and sometimes under the bed.
pricilla would come back in to the room when ever her mother did not need her.
one time it felt like an hour. when pricilla came back in the room we held hands and kissed.
one time she wanted to play quiet dolls. i hated that. i wanted to kiss more but played anyway.
one time i got to kiss her on the mouth. it made hiding worth it.

12.11.1973

pricilla moved away today. her dad got transferred and they are going far away.
im sad. i will miss her. i think her good friend tanya likes me. she was at the party
and talked to me a lot. she is cute. she said she doesnt like leif garrett.

babysitter

7.17.1974

i dont think my baby sitter knows much. 
she seems to not notice i like her.
i like when she holds me up next to her big boobs.
she also thinks those kisses i give her are pretend.


vicky

10.23.1975
i don’t get it. so what if her skin is black. i really like her smile.
she makes me laugh. her sister gorgette, is like another guy friend.
we fight every day at recess. its easy to beat her in fights, by grabbing her hair.
she doesn’t like me messing with her sister but i like vicki. i like her skin.


martha

6.20.1977

rick's older sister is cool.
today in the basement of his house me and rick and martha and one of her friends played spin the bottle. 
then seven in heaven. those girls really know what they are doing. tongues and hands all over the place.
i like that. i think it was goofy that rick and his sister took a turn.
i cant tell my sister because she and martha are friends. she would kill me.

11.17.1977

we won the tournament in winnipeg.
that was not the best part of the hockey trip. saturday night we went to see the movie "slapshot" with rick's dad.
when we went back to the motel rick's dad went to the bar and left martha in charge.
we had two joining rooms. after watching some t.v. we started to play naked hide and seek.
rick got bored of and went into the other room, to watch frankenstien.

me and martha got on the bed in the other room and played her game of doctor.
this was fun. i was horny more than ever. she was sitting on top of me and examining me.
we started kissing and she was rubbing her body on mine. i'm pretty sure i screwed her with out even knowing?
i didn't really feel anything i was so hard.

she left the room and kicked rick out of her bed.
when he came in he saw my boner and laughed at me.
it was wet and i told him what happened.
we went in the bathroom and i took one of those small bars of soap and used the whole thing washing off my dick.
gross. rick laughed the whole time.

when i got on the bus the next morning martha ignored me.
i don’t understand. it was like i wasn't there. she even picked on me a little with the older guys on the team.
what did i do wrong? i thought we had fun?

wanda

5.20.1978

im moving to michigan, ill miss wanda.
older girls were kind of fun until I met wanda.
we have fun together. she has a great smile. she even likes my silk shirts with snaps.
i hope i meet someone like her in the U.S.
i think she liked the locket i gave her to remember me with.

2. Feathered Hair

As I recall middle school, it was the time when my hair mattered the most. Everybody I knew had a feathered look of some kind and was in love with Farrah Faucet. Myself, a center part with perfect wings on each side. This quaff was constantly maintained by the big, blue comb I kept religiously in my back pocket. We often played bloody knuckles with our combs balanced on fist.  I'm sure mostly to impress the girls.

kathy

10.12.78

so i asked kathy "to go with me" today.
it seemed like the thing to do. we love hanging out in class and at recess.
all my friends think i should have asked her to be my girl friend a while ago.
I don’t know hwat difference it makes. the rules are different here in the states.
maybe its just middle school ?

10.24.78

i don’t like this whole going out with someone things.
kathy broke up with me today. i dont blame her.
we have been "going together" for two weeks and it changed everything.
im nervous, i dont know what to say to her.
i  haven't said anything to her in the last week or so.
im a better friend. I just want to be her friend again.


mel

12.7.78

ive known mel for my whole life.
our parents are best friends and have always thought it would be cute boyfriend girlfriend.
her dad and my dad work together in detroit.
mel is a good kisser and she already has big boobs. man i like boobs.
we have this place under the stairs at her house that we go while the parents talk.
we can kiss there all night long.

3.12.79

so me and mel are still having a lot of fun kissing but i'm getting bored with that.
she does not like me being handsy. she has this friend michelle and she is not prude.
her parents are fiends with ours. very once in a while i get to go under the stairs with her.
i don't know how long I can get away with this. my sister helps out and doesn’t know it.
her and mel are good friends. i hope I don’t blow this. its going to be a good summer.


kirsten

6.13.79

so im getting to know the kids in the neighborhood.
I miss my friends in Michigan and it is hot as hell here in Tulsa.
we still spend a lot of time outside. brent a guy down the street has a weight room.
a real big cool house too.  its not the house im interested in, its his girl friend kirsten..
she lives next door to him and we hang out at her house a lot.
she has a juke box, and we listen to "i wanna kiss you all over" over and over.
there is something about her long legs, i dont even mind her braces.

7.29.79

I had a big party tonight and my friends in the neighborhood all came.
my brother is in a body cast downstairs, and that kept my mom busy.
i had my black light on all night and all the girls bra's were showing through their shirts.
very cool.

kirsten came to the party a little late and she was not with brent.
at the end of the night she took me into a spare room upstairs.
its my brothers real room before he had the operation.
she showed me how to french, man she can open her mouth wide.
she was like jaws with braces.  I still don’t mind. im digging this.

8. 20.79

leslie

ill be sad to leave leslie.
she was my good friend and the closest ill get to having a girlfriend that looks like farrah.
she is a cheerleader and a great kisser.
we didn't loose a game this year and i had many nights at ken's pizza with her.
i hope girls look like her in canada.

10.12.79

layla

my buddy thomas has this girl friend that he kinda shares. at the dances at least.
i like these canadian school dances. the girls let you grab their ass while we are slow dancing.
no one fast dances. layla is tall. my face goes right into her boobs but they are not very big.
they are small but nice. to tell you the truth her ass the best part.
she is skinny and you can get your hands wrapped around the whole thing.
it is heaven and i think she loves it.

3. Formative Years

Going to four different high schools would be a nightmare for most people, but by that time i had figured out how to leave people and start over. Since my father was a football coach it was more timely to move in the middle of the school year for us. I quickly learned the advantage to this, I was always the new kid and by mid year the girls were ready for someone new.


meridith

9.27.81

i'm starting to really dig cheerleaders.
not because of what they do or what they say but because they have these tight bodies.
well at least most of them.  cheerleading is pretty competitive down here in texas.
I cant believe they put me back in the 8th grade for football.
being the new kid in town has paid off everytime I move.
i wish it could get me in with meredith but i think i blew it.

yesterday me and my new friends went to the water park.
about 6 girls and 8 guys which was great odds and meredith was sporting the sweet bikini.
she likes to hang out with me. we got out in the water and were wrestling around.
she dunked me under the water and i swallowed some water.
then i came up and hacked a big loogie on her face which fucked up my chances.
not good. it will be interesting to see if i can recover from that craziness.

sherri

11. 10.81

i have a gorgeous homecoming date.
sherri who is another cheerleader and a friend of meredith's who never gave me a second chance.
sherri is more practical and not as girly as Meredith.
she is shy but i think she digs me.
is she too tall for me?

11.23.81

homecoming was fun but i didn't get any attention from my date.
the waiter kept coming to the table with his crumb comb to scoop our messes and flirt with sherri.
that older bastard. i barely got a kiss on the drive home.

ceci

6.15.82

ceci goes to my church.
she has a hot older sister and lives right down the street.
her trampoline is the meeting place for all the peeps from my high school.
since my house is very close i stay there late into the nights talking to ceci.
she is very young and innocent, i like talking to her even though i'm not too interested in her.
her parents think i am the best. going to the same church helps.

jill

8.3.82

my cousin came in town with a big group of family for my sister wedding.
we all stayed up late every night, scattered on the floor on pallets to sleep.
last night jill was trying to break me of being ticklish.
she had different ideas of tickling and went down my pants.
i just let her but was scared someone would find out.
she wanted me to go down her pants I could tell.  i did but i couldn't find anything.
it seemed like i had my arm in her pants to my elbows?

tara

9.19.82

man the girls are wild here in chicago.
we went to the drive-in tonight and this girl who is pretty hot gave 4 of us football players blow jobs.
jims back seat was her private room. this was my first one and it was a weird mix of pleasure and pain.
maybe it was her braces but i can take the pain.

sally

10.4.82

so sally, the hottest junior in the school.
she dates matt this big time wrestler and she is coming onto me.
i cant tell if it is for real or just to get her boyfriend jealous.  i'm ok with it either way.
this girl is a knock out. she is tall with big boobs and cute as hell. a tennis player with great legs.

10.11.82

sally asked my to drive by her house yesterday.
i had no idea what was about to happen.
her parents were out of town and it was the middle of the day.
she invited me in and we went straight to lying on the floor and making out.
she then started un-buttoning my pants and started giving me head. this which was great.

who would have ever believed what she had been doing with matt?
i came in her mouth and she brought her face close to mine and with clinched teeth asked me to open up. well that never happened. she went to the bathroom to spit. not a bad day.
not sure how to look at matt tomorrow.

betsy

8.3.83

i've spent all summer flirting with betsy at the pool.
when she gets a break off the life gourd stand she always comes over and we talk and talk about life.  
things that most girls don't like talking about. man what a body. i need to ask her out.

10.12.83

me and betsy have been hanging out a lot.
she likes going to dinner and the movies quite a bit which is new to me. she is a grade older, a senior.
i really was thinking i loved this girl but today she told me that she didn't want to go out any more.
she said i was the type of guy she would like to marry but not date. A nice guy she say's.
i don't really understand that? i know that it really hurts me.


11.15.83

5 days before homecoming.
tonight i got a call from betsy. she wants me to dump kathy for homecoming and take her.
i wanted to tell her to fuck off but i couldn't resist. maybe i can win her back?
she had a plan and everything.

so after a few crazy phone calls i convinced kathy to go with the guy that has asked betsy.
now we are going. what a flip.

11.20.83

homecoming was a crazy night.
had some champagne at jim's house before we went to eat. i don’t drink much.
betsy was loopy and had her barefoot in my crotch all the way through dinner.
at the dance she was all over me but then would disappear.

ms. duncan is hot and i've always had a crush. she was flirting with me last night big time.
i'm not sure how it happened or why but i found myself out in the smoking area outside in a dark corner with ms. duncan making out. i'm quite sure this wont go over well with betsy if she finds out.
i bet my english grade improves because i'm sure ms. duncan will want this quiet.


11.21.83

betsy called today to thank me for a good time last night.
it was followed with but. she inform me that she still dosen't want to go out any more.
i hate this line. she hoped we could be friends. i do wonder if she heard about me and ms. duncan?

leslie

1.20.84

there is something about older women and me.
the first day at our new church here in phoenix and i met leslie.
she is a senior at horizon. she got crazy fast. she me to sneak in her house already and make out with her.
i think her younger sister is way more cute but I do it anyway.

2.12.84

leslie is pushing me to have sex with her and i'm not down with that.
i would like to be a virgin when i get married. especially if i can keep doing all the other stuff.
these phoenix girls don't seem to be as interested in oral sex as the girls in chicago?
i need to find me one.

tammy

4.1.84

carrie got tired of me not wanting to get serious with her so i found a fun gal.
tammy goes to our church too and is very sexual but not pushy.
i don't want sex and she is good with that. tammy has a talented mouth.
yesterday she told me she was taking a steroid for her allergies that was made of horse cum?

this was a good opportunity.
we both came to the agreement that instead of the pill she should just give me a blow job every night.
this may be a good spring.

betsy

9.20.84

so she came all the way to arizona from chicago to go to school.
a new freshman at ASU and i got a call the minute she got in town.
i thought i was over her and the way she broke my heart in chicago.
so now she is back and i'm thinking about her like it was yesterday.
she asked me out to dinner for my birthday tomorrow night.

9.21.84

dinner was great we went out in the desert to oaxaca and sat on the patio.
betsy  is as beautiful as ever. she lost some weight but her tits are still great.
we went back to her dorm room and i met her room mate.
we hung out and drank some beers, i got a kiss goodbye that was magical.
i hope to see here soon.

10.12.84

i still haven't heard anything back from betsy.
i'm not the type to go chasing her down. i cannot believe i got burned again by the same girl.
that is the last time that will happen to me.

joan

11.7.84

so i usually dig older women and there is this freshman named joan. a vision of perfection.
blonde hair, great swimmer body with a tenderness and innocence i haven't felt in a while.
all those girls from this summer have nothing on this girl, i want to ask her out.
is she too young?

11.20.84

what I great night.
sitting in the bed of my truck with joan, listening to al jarreau in the desert.
we looked at the stars all night holding each other. it doesn't get any better than that.
she is a good kisser, i hope i can behave myself.

12.10.84

tonight I went over to where joan was babysitting.
it was right next door to her house. I think what was dangerous.
i think i need to quit seeing her. i cant control myself with this girl and i want her bad.
i would even consider sleeping with her if she would let me.

i'm corrupting her playing with her and my emotions to get something sexual to happen.
maybe i'm addicted? but there is something different. she has a hold of me.

tonight she got naked with my help.  i did my best to convince her to have a little fun with me.
she played with my dick and even had it in her mouth at one point but didn’t like it.
then i said something that even disgusted me " why don't you finish what you started".
am i that guy? I don’t want to the be one that sells the blue ball rumor.


tara

2.7.85

this is month 2 since my parents moved to texas and left me in this apartment for my senior year.
things have been productive with the ladies. they all want to deflower me.
my jaquzzi is getting a work out and i haven't cracked. it is as if they all want to win the prize?

tara has been coming over a lot and i'm kind of dialed into her.
she is one of the best kissers i have experienced.
in the jaquzzi she straddles me while we make out.
she takes my pecker out of my shorts and between strokes, tries to tempt me to put it in her.
she slides her bikini to the side, i love her bush. it is a big hairy bush, my favorite.
she gets way into this, until finally giving me a hand job or a blow job to completion.
i want to see how far i can go with out giving in, because this is good.


christy

3.11.85

just moved out to holly's house. the apartment wasn’t working out.
holly is a gal who goes to our church. her dad loves me and offered his basement apt for free.
so to save money i said yes. tara doesn't like the drive, i'm almost out in fountain hills.

tonight, christy, one of the twins came out to fool around.
i snuck her in the side fence and to the basement. it was super easy.
we started to fool around right away. man she has big tits.

she is in the group of girls wanting to take my virginity.
i don't know how i will do with this one. she is so hot with a great body.


joan

3.20.85

at the spring dance the other night with christy, i saw joan.
the was the first time in a while. she has been going out with richard.
he is cool, i like Richard. he is way into young life and has been treating her better that me i'm sure.
seeing her on the dance floor shook me, there is something special about this girl.
i asked her to dance and hope richard wasn't pissed. there is was hot and heavy energy there.
i cant fuck with her head though, she is too sweet. i need to move past it.

carrie

3.25.85

carrie is back in town for spring break.
she seems to really like pepperdine and wants to get together and talk about things.
she is coming out to my apt tomorrow night. i'm hoping she has calmed down a bit.

3.26.85

well we ended up in bed and she was telling me about all the experience she has now.
i guess a christian school doesn’t mean that they aren’t sleeping around.
she almost called me a pussy because i wouldn't fuck her.
she is still too aggressive and now she is less tolerant.

3.28.85

so i guess carrie wanted one more go with me and never did i expect this outcome.
last night we go out to the mountains to park and watch the stars, she brings beer and drinks too much.
she is straddling me in the bed of my truck, the whole time saying she needs to pee.
when i tell her to jump into the sand she says no, either b/c she is scared or just doesn't want to get off me.

so we start going after it again, she has her pants unzipped and is grinding the hell out of me.
the next thing i know amidst her groaning noises things get real wet, and she has peed on my lap.
a big pee right through her white jeans, making it hard to deny.
glad she leaves to school tomorrow cuz that was gross.

janet

4.7.85

i have been called lips of coonta kintay my whole senior year.
i hate those nicknames a lot.

three nights ago, saturday night, i was over at janet's house.
what a body she has. she is a bit of a prude, so all we do is dry hump, but i love it.
its definitely safe or so i thought.

i got a new pair of 501 jeans, they have always been too tight in the legs.
we were dry humping and a feel a little bit of extra friction. it was one of the buttons.
it was positioned right on the top of my dick and i don't wear underwear so i can feel it.
that didn’t matter because we were having a killer session.

so in the shower today after working out, chris sees the blister right on the  side of my shaft.
new nickname achieved.  MR. BLISTER and that sucks even worse.  funny yes but i prefer lips.
any thing else.  fuck. well i'm glad i'm almost out of here.

holly

4.10.85

well i kinda knew this would happen.
my landlords daughter, holly, came down knocking on my door the last night.
she has been wanting to hang out. she has seen so many gals come and go from here and she wants a turn.
it is hard to tell someone you are not interested them in that way.
especially when they know you don't have much of a filter other than looks.
they automatically know you think they aren't cute.

4. The Big Leagues

When I got to college i thought i had hit the big leagues with women. I definitely was looking forward to what was next.
In the beginning of my freshman year I was very much into the church. I had convinced myself, with the help of my religious mentors, that I was a virgin again and that the fifth grade didn't count. I was as pure as the driven snow and all the lustful oral sex was part of keeping myself pure.. I had a football scholarship to Abilene Christian University and little did I know where this christian school journey would take me sexually, romantically and spiritually.

janelle

5/20/1985

back to living with the parents before school gets started.
i'm not sure how playing for my dad in college is going to go, or even living with them this summer.
im use to my own place after 4 months of being alone.
if their neighbors daughter is any indication, i'm digging it so far.

janelle is not the prettiest girl but has a nice rack and is kinda sexy.
she is going to be a senior at abilene high and carries her self well.
i see her out by the pool every day, working on her tan.
i peek at her through the fence while i wash my car. nice bikini's.
i bet she has a big bush to go with those sweet big tits.

the best thing is that i'm sure she is a virgin.
i dont think she will try to pressure me into having sex.
her dad is a religion professor on campus and he likes me,
which is great cover for having a fun summer.

6/10/1985

janelle's parents are always doing something up on campus.
she likes to get me to come over and hang out in her and watch t.v.

tonight she gave me a killer blow job.
i mean this girl has something pent up inside of her.
she goes crazy for it, kind of kinky... and no sex.

lisa

10/3/1985

well its official. i got red-shirted.
this means i wont be traveling on away game weekends.
this also means i can use my parents house to have lisa and some friends over.

i have been drinking a lot of beer this year so it will be nice to have a crash pad.
sneaking back into the dorm and or with a girl is risky and stan hates that anyway.

lisa is at least 6 feet tall and i love her long legs.
i wish she was a blonde but man she is a sexy girl.
dave was right, and think lisa is going to prove it.
girls in college wont just give head .
i feel her wanting more but i know i cant do that.

10/13/1985

it can't believe i did it. man it happened so fast.
i am not a virgin anymore and i am very pissed of about this.

i hope god will forgive me. i tried so hard.
all that time in high school, fighting it... down the drain.
it just happened.

i guess it was bound to, i was playing with fire.
i thought i had it all under control and then she kicked in the sexy,
telling me she wanted me inside of her. its hard to turn down a naked body like that.
i couldn't stop myself and before i knew it i was fucking her.

while we were doing it i broke into a heavy sweat and not because of the heat.
i think it was a bit of a panic attack. shame for sure but i kept my cool.
she asked me why i was sweating so much and of course i told her it was because she was so hot.  
it worked. she didn’t know a was a virgin.

i'm really disappointed with myself.
i didn't have to do that... i really didn't want to. but maybe i did?
what do i do now, i'm a christian and we don't do this?


janelle 2

12/12/1985

at the parents house for xmas.
its nice to be out of the dorm and have some of moms cooking.
last night i found out janelle is definitely not a virgin.
this girl can rock and roll.

she told me she had heard about all the girls i had slept with this semester.
this turned her on and she definitely wants a piece.
i was happy to oblige.

i dig the way she can move her hips.
the way she sucks her own tits as she rides me is crazy good.
she is surely not the cutest girl i know, but she sure knows how to fuck.

1/15/1985

i think me an janelle are done fooling around.
too bad, but i think the holidays got the best of her.
holidays can do that, make you want more.

she says i don't court her enough or take her out on dates.
not like all the other guys around here. they take girls out exactly 3 times,
fuck them and then dump them. i have always been honest with her.

i have gotten slapped in a face a few times for being so honest.
i don't want to date just any one but i would like to fuck a lot of them.
if i think a girl is hot, i can't promise her anything other than that i dig her.
no lying. no false pretenses. janelle wanted the lies.

julie

3/19/1986

spring break at padre island, is crazy.
its great to have a room to sleep in tonight.
even if we are sharing with 8 other guys.

last night we slept on the beach.
this morning me and john woke up in our bags with people all around us.
they were dancing and drinking beer at 10am.
this is nuts.

after all we could eat pizza at pizza inn, me and john were on patio drinking beer.
beer and watching girls go buy perfect.  we were about to give up and go out to the beach
when these two smoking chics came walking towards us smiling. 
im telling john this is our lucky day and i called the blonde. 
they keeping walking right up to us. the blonde then asks me if i'm rob?
of course i say yes and then off come her glasses and it is my 16 year old cousin.

shit... that was awkward. i was totally checking her out.
she is down the street in a condo with my aunt barbara and her sisters.
ill have to go see them tomorrow.

margarite

3/20/1986

mike, one of the ten roomies, hooked up with a stipper he met on the beach.
we now have two strippers hanging out in our room all day. 
they show us their titties for beer.

mikes gal, margarite is spending the night here tonight.
she calls him her little connan, bitch tits and all.
i'm jealous, this chic is hot. dark black skin, bit fake tits, smoking body.

mike is giving the stripper a run for her money at night.
we all got to here them fuck into the wee hours last night.
his mixing of booze, steriods and xtasy is somehow allowing him fuck all night long.
im happy to listen to her moan as i sleep.

3/21/1986

i spent 2 hours last night at the pool drinking corona's with margarite
before we went to he club dancing. i think we connected.
she is smart, and says she likes to talk to me.

she talks about life and you can tell she is starving for conversation.
as good looking as mike is, he is a box of rocks.

she told me she was making up to $1000 a night at the million dollar club in dallas.
she also told me to come look her up. i doubt that will happen. I think it is cool that she is
having fun and saving money for law school.
is that what all strippers say?

3/22/1986

the dance club was hopping last night.
it was a crazy night to say the least. first i hit on my cousin julie again.
she looked so different from yesterday at lunch.
damn she is hot.

then mike met a knew gal and took off with her leaving us all with margarite.
this was my chance but I was hesitant. she wanted to dance with me all night.
i got julie to run interference but then we made it to the upside down bar.

after 4 or five shots, i was in. margarite and me killed the dance floor and i knew it was on.
she wanted to go back to the room early, to get dibs on a bed.
we both hoped that mike would be out for the night.

robby booby is what she was calling me all the way thru our hour of sex.
what a let down for her i think. her and mike at least fucked for 3.
john and dave were on the floor beside the bed routing me on and
on of them grabbed her ass at one time. she loved it.
once she knew we had an audience, she really got screaming loud.

at one time margarite said, "robby booby, your so big".  i love that. this girl would say
anything to get me off and its not a bad rumor to start even if i and everyone in the room know better.

3/23/1986

glad i'm not driving the first leg.
my head is killing me and its a good thing this trip is over.

last night margarite wanted me to go out with her to make some money.
she won three of the four wet t-shirt competitions we entered.
i drank free all night long to be her body guard.
she really needed mike for that but I acted the part.

after the contests the night got really crazy. margarite found a new man
and I joined forces with another one of the contestants.
the last thing i remember is going back to someones condo that she had met or was friends with.

in the morning i woke up in the closet.
sleeping on shoes. what the hell, i took one as a trophy.
when i got out of the closet there were two couples in two different beds in the room.
everyone was naked and the girl who I was with was no where to be found.
i have no clue how i got there or what happened.

i didn't see margarite this morning before leaving but we had fun for sure.

sasha

4/15/1985

met a gal this past weekend at the bar.
rocker - sexy chic with a bit of pink in her hair.
we made out in the corner of the bar.
later in the night she told me she wanted to show me her shaved pussy
up till then I hadn't seen one, so i said sure.

we ended up at her house and in her bed.
she wanted me to wear a condom, another thing i hadn't done before.
while we were fucking it broke and i knew it.
the friction of her pussy stubble was freaky.
i came before i could hold back or pull out, but didn't tell her.
it slipped.

when I tell her it broke, she puts another one on me and we kept going.
there was no way i was going to come again with that balloon on.
after she came, i faked it so she would know the first condom broke.
my first and hope last fake orgasm.

christy and gina

6/18/1986

bubba came in town for a visit this weekend.
this is the first time i have seen him since high school.
we started going separate ways after he quit dating my sister,
but he was always one of my church buddies.

like the usual bubba, the girls flocked to him last night.
we had two hot brunettes by the end of the night.
they wanted to go home with us but I was living with my parents.

i knew of this old trailer that doug rundle and me use to drink beer with girls in.
so we took them there after we stopped to get a 12 pack.
we barely got thru one coors light before it was on.

he with chisty in one bed and me with gina in the other. 
we could hold hands across the isle of the trailer, so we did to freak the girls out.
before i knew it we all four were naked. it freaked me out a bit b/c me and bubba are church buddies.
i didn't expect it. but that was just the beginning.

i'm banging gina and really getting into it.
bubba sounds like he is getting it on well with christy.
then i hear him say, "switch" and damn if those girls didn't get up and jump in opposite beds.
i'm not sure i even missed a stroke. i liked christy a whole lot more
than gina, a better kisser, nicer tits.

then the fucker said, "switch" again.
it was good to see bubba. seems like he is crazier than me.

country club woman

7/10/1986

last night we had a party at the country club.
the summer party for all of the caddies and maintenance crew.
we never get to go in the club area.

the bar was open down the hall as we had our party. i visited often for beers.
there was an older lady at the bar who was very friendly all night.
when i was driving home, a car followed me for while then pulled up beside me. it was her.
she asked me and brad, who was with me, if we wanted to party. dumb question.

we went to her house, a big fucking house on the 11th green.
we never got inside the house. we went straight into the back yard where the pool was.
beer, a pool and a jacuzzi, we were set.

man this got wacky fast.
the three of us end up in the jacuzzi and she went back and forth between me
and brad, flirting, feeling us both up, kissing us both and stuff.
after a bit she chose me and brad ended up in the pool.
later he ended up getting mad at me and went out to sit in the car.

i had a hard time fucking this lady. something didn't feel right.
the water? was her pussy bigger, older?
it matter because she ended up taking me over to what she called her favorite jet.
she wanted me to finger her while she had her legs up on the side of the jacuzzi with
the jet blowing right at her pussy.

every once in a while the jet would get at a perfect angle.
she would scream as her pussy would blew up like a balloon.
my finger would be floating in space. it was fucking weird.
i never came and left right after she did.

5. Condo 32

My sophomore year in college was a crazy time. I had already lost my virginity, so the gloves were off.
My dad was very generous and bought me a condo so I could live off campus. I don't believe he had any idea of
the freedoms he was affording me and the life lessons i would learn that year. My good friend John and fellow
defensive back moved in with me to pay some rent and share the bills.  We began a life long friendship in the craziness
of being young football players with big egos and libidos.

jamie

8/1/86

it feels great not to have to live in the dorm this year.
a bigger bed is one of the best things and john moves in next week.
i cant believe my dad bought this condo, this is going to be the place to be.

while i was moving my stuff in, i noticed a girl moving into condo #35.
blonde, fit with a cute body. she is small. i hope to meet her soon.

8/15/86

i met jamie today on my way home from the first day of 2 a days.
she is super sweet, very cute with a little bit of a lazy eye.
i hope i didn't smell too much. i think she liked my new jeep.
i think she might have a boyfriend, some guy was leaving when i drove up.

8/30/86

i'm not sure i should have knocked on her door tonight?
i couldn't help it, i saw her yesterday out washing her car in the bikini.
what a body. there was another car there but no one opened the door.
maybe she didn't here me?

i'll leave her an note tomorrow inviting her to the party over here.
i hope she comes.

9/1/86

sweet party, john was in rare form, all the guys were.
we really hit it hard. it’s the last big bash before the season.

jamie came over, she is shy i think because of her eye.
the guys were giving her a look, that didn’t help.
no one really noticed the eye, past her body. i talked to her all night.

i can tell she likes me but i'm not sure i should go there.
she is so sweet and i don't want to hurt her if i can't deal with the eye?
plus i just moved into a condo, i don’t want a girlfriend.
she also made the point to tell me she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

10/ 15/86

the season has been going well, its good to travel.
still not playing much, that knee surgery 6 weeks ago
really has slowed me down. need to train more.

the good thing about having that surgery is that i got laid a lot.
jamie was coming over almost every night. she really likes to get it on.

she got mad at me because me and john had some girls over the other night.
the blonde he was digging on, lyndsi was smoking and the brunette, jesse had some great tits.

so today i told jamie i didn’t want a girl friend and i think she is going to move on.
i like her a lot but am totally not ready to have a girl friend.

jesse

11/1/86

jesse cant dance for shit. we were at the upstairs club tonight
and she has no rhythm at all. if she wasn’t so fun in the sack
with that skinny body and gorgeous tits, id be gone.

11/12/86

jesse spent the night last night. she loves to do it doggy style
in the shower. she is pretty limber in the bed and has a great tasting pussy.
she spent some time singing to the radio. wow what an awful voice.
i don’t know if i can deal with a bad voice and crappy dancing?

julie

11/20/86

i went to a party last night at the la quinta inn.
buesing rents rooms there some weekends so all the guys can go drink.
it safer that way.

one girl showed up, julie and she was hot. a sweet little blonde with nice tits.
we got along well but i could tell john had his hooks in her. man was i right.

i walked into the bathroom at one point to see johnny banger her while
she was sitting on the sink.

12/1/86

john and julie didn’t make it too long. he met this new girl named amy.
she is tiny, but real cute and has a big enough personality to keep up with john.

im gonna ask him if i can go for julie? its perfect timing right before the holidays.

12/15/86

what a night last night. took julie out for dinner and then we ended up dancing at
the stairs. everyone is headed home soon so it was packed. this gal can shake it and
what a perfect body.

so after the stairs we end up at her sisters apartment where she checked out to.
he sister went home early so i decided to stay there. julie sent into the bathroom
and cam out in a flannel onesy, barely buttoned. that was too hot and we had to
take that off quick and ended up in the bed. swear we fucked go hard and fast
that we fell off the bed. i think i got two strokes in in mid air and kept rhythm as
we hit the floor. thank you john.

cindy

1/5/87

cindy came to visit me yesterday, and to check out the school. she is not happy
at TCU. it has been a while since i have seen her, even though we have kept in touch
since i left ft worth in HS. she has been dating bubba on and off since i left.
we never really hooked up in HS but were really good friends.

we went to labodega and ended up parking at the ball field afterwards.
she has gained some weight be is still very cute, wears to much make up
but still cute.

this is the first time i have messed around with a girl, got her jeans off to find she had
panty hose on as well. i get that its cold but no fun. i love that she had a big bush, and man
was her pussy wet. we just fooled around a bit, i got a blow job which was good.
i think we are too good of friends to really get sexy with each other.

amy

2/15/87

amy is here again with john. she is here all of the time.
i like amy but it doesn’t feel like my apartment anymore.
i hang out in my room until they go to be and fool around.
she doesn’t sleep here often b/c she is still living in the dorm.

ok, so she just knocked on my door and came in.
her and john had been drinking some, i like those days.
one day they got ripped and laid out in the back yard nude.

amy had no idea i had come home and was watching through the window.
anyway she just asked me how to give john a blow job?
i'm  guessing john was having a bit of a whiskey dick, but i gave her a good verbal.

i can hear my success through the walls.

3/1/87

yesterday amy was pissed off at john and told us both a lie.
she said she went to the gyno and he told her she had an STD.
she then deciphered it was from julie and that i8 had better be scared to
because i was with julie right after john. i think she had just heard the details
of johns fling with julie before he met her.

so we both went to the clinic today.
john went into a room first and me shortly after.
a had to undress and stand on a stool in front of 3 nurses.
i could tell what was about to happen with out them explaining.
the big nurse had a metal swab in one and and began to grab
my dick in the other.

that's when I heard john grunt in the other room
i then quickly told the nurse to stop… i explained all the details.
they told me if i had no symptoms i did not need to be there.
i gladly put my pants back on and went to wait for john.

back at the condo, we told amy what we did and she began to laugh.
it was all a hoax, that bitch.

michele

3/11/87

so this cute but bigger girl in my sociology class offered me a rolex.
we talk a lot and i like michelle but not enough to go home with her
at spring break. she told me here dad gives all of her boyfriends rolex’s.
if she were a bit skinnier i might go for that bribe.

3 on the floor

3/16/87

last weekend me and treg had a really good night at the upstairs club
bringing home 5 girls who had all checked out of the dorm and needed
and place to stay.

treg slept on the couch and me in my bed, which i think proved to be the place to be?
the girls were all over the floor in the middle of the morning.
i choose to beleive 3 of them took turnsin my bed and i fucked them all. but i can’t remember a thing?
i hope treg was equally as lucky.


it had to be that kind of skanky one jill who gave us the crabs.
we knew we had them and thought the RIDD had cured us.
obviously not, as the football team had a breakout from the laundry.
oops… lots of shaved dicks in the locker room friday.

i hope i get a little re-growth before spring break.

jackie

4/19/87

i know jackie is treg's old HS girlfriend but i really like her.
i'm not typically a cheerleader guy but she is so athletic and smart.
we are in the same program and she asked me if i wanted to be her
study partner for exercise phys 1. i really want to do this but need to ask treg first.

4/25/87

i have a big crush on jackie, and told her so today.
she said she has a boyfriend but i could tell she was curious about me.
we talk so good, laugh together and just have fun. i think she wont go there
because of treg either and i get it.

i just need to find me one like her this summer, she has it all.

linda

6/1/87

today was the first day at work. i like this summer gig better than
last years. i was designated head life guard by mike at the end of the day.

that was impressive to the other girl lifegaurds.
linda is the cutest one. i have seen her before at church, she was a freshman
this year and a hometown girl. i love that i get to see here in a swim suit all
day, she has a killer rack.

6/30/87

i have been hanging out at linda’s house a lot this month.
her parents are great and love me. her younger sister is also a life guard with us as well.
she is super cute too but a bit big for me.

me and linda have not even kissed but I like hanging out with her anyway.
she is very smart and not moody. maybe because we are not involved in that way?
i don’t think anything will happen.

7/10/87

me and linda made out tonight in the car.
i drove her home form work because her sister took the car.
it was fun she has great lips and i know she wanted me to do more.

she has heard a lot of my stories, but i couldn’t.
i respect her too much and i know her parents trust me.


7/20/87

swithcharoo

my brother is my new roomie this semester.
i went to pick him up in ft worth this weekend
and he is in abilene, enrolling in school and trying to straighten up his life.
he told me yesterday that he was mostly living a gay life
in NYC and that he was hoping to put that behind him.
i said i could help.

last night we went to the upstairs club and did some dancinig.
there is a different crowd there in the summer, lots of girls i haven’t
met before.

my brother is a nut on the dance floor and the girls wanted to dance with us.
by the end of the night we had picked the best we could get and dug in.
they came home with us to drink a little more.

its july and my brother is trying to set the mood by burning the phone
book in the fire place. a smokey mess.

shortly i had my girl in the bedroom and could barley hear my brother,
struggling on what to do. me and becca had our clothes off and were going at
it good. the sex was ok but i was a bit distracted hoping my brother was doing ok.

at one point i went to the bathroom, and his gal came in to talk to me.
she told me he was not really into her and she was confused. i understood.
she went back into his room and by the time i went back in mine becca was
dressed and ready to go. she had to get home and get sleep and asked me to
drive her home.

when to got back to the condo and jumped into bed, shortly after my brothers
girl, wendy came in my room and told me she wanted to be with me all along.
and it was on.

my brother knocked on my door and told me all was cool, that he was not
digging the whole deal anyway.

6. Junior Love


my junior year I was ready for love. I wanted a girl friend but I had no practical experience
on how that was supposed to go or what it would look like. I still had a lot of learning to do and
I surely found the right people to teach me those lessons.

shay

8/1/87

first day to report for football.
we have a new girl helping out with the trainers, shay.
she is tall and super skinny, i mean bean pole.
i think she likes layfield which makes since because he is tall too,
but she talked to me a lot and was flirting with me? we talk good but i’m not so sure
i’m attracted to her. she may be too skinny even though i have always thought there
wasn’t such a thing.

she has small tits too, which isn’t me either. its almost like one, the left one, isn’t
even there or is missing? the thing i do like about how skinny she is is her legs.
she has that pussy gap, that light shines through. gaps are good.

9/27/87

shay came over last night after the dorm curfew to hang out.
another knee surgery and this is what i needed, some comforting.
she checked out to a friends house and i didn’t know this until later in the night.
so she had to stay, which i think was her plan.

we had a lot of fun talking and laughing and she is a great kisser. well it didn’t stop there.
i kind of knew she was the horny type, we fucked all night long, or she did.
i had to remain on my back, which she seemed to get a kick out of.
we slept thru church and lunch.

she is not shy to give head.
you can tell she likes the power of it all, she takes control.
her long legs and the pussy are really nice.
her pussy sticks out like a yummy mound and it is easy to get to.

with her shirt off you can really get the details on the boobs, one is super small.
she has a sunk in chest cavity that doesn’t help. she is a very cool chick.

10/1/87

shay couldn’t come over tonight, she had homework.
but she asked me to come pick her up at 830 and she wanted to
give me a blow job for xmas.

treg caught wind of this and asked if he could hide in the way back of the blazer.
normally i would say no, but he let me hide under the covers at the foot of his bed
last weekend and watch him fuck tracy.

i picked up shay right at 830 in front of the dorm.
she had a place picked out to go park but was giving me head on the
drive there. by the time i had parked treg had moved into the back seat.
how she never figured out there were three hands on her body at times
ill never know, or maybe she liked it.

kellie

10/10/87

i went to the Y today to see all my friends that still work there.
there was a new part time girl working at the front desk.
kellie, she goes to hardin simmons and is a junior.

she had great curly, blondish hair and i really like the way she smell.
she is a little preppy for me but seemed like a really nice gal.
i got her phone number and told her i wasn’t traveling this weekend b/c of my knee
and that we should go out.

i think i will call her tomorrow.

10/13/87

i have been talking to kelle on the phone a lot.
we laugh a lot which i like. we have a date friday to go out for dinner
and drinks.

she seems super sweet, might be into the church a bit to much for me.
this year i just don’t have the same religious resolve as i one did.
i still like my theology classes but there is too much hypocracy.

10/15/87

i had my first date with kellie tonight.
i had to have her back to her dorm by curfew.

she is planning to move out next semester and i hope that happens.
she had a bow in her hair which was alarming.

i don’t typically go for bow heads, but on the way home
from drinks she asked to to pull over the jeep, so she could pee.
with out hesitation she peed on the side of the road.

may kind of gal.

11/1/87

well its official.
not because i had to or i'm trying to get laid but me and kellie
are a couple. my first real girlfriend since grade school.
that is crazy.

of course i hope this does help me out in the sack but I really do care for her
and its time for me to give this relationship thing a go.

to tell you the truth the pas few weeks with out getting laid have
been fine, i enjoy the build up, the intensity we have achieved in
just talking and making out.

ok there has been a little more, but no intercourse.

11/15/87

well me and kellie got naked and had sex last night.
she was drunk and very loose with it, and man it was great.

this is the real deal, i have never really had sex with some one
i felt love towards.

she went home this weekend and i miss her already and
cant wait to see her on sunday night.

11/18/87

kellie came home upset with me.
upset with herself and upset with us, she said.

she is very mad about having sex friday night and says that it is not
going to happen again. she still believes that it should be something that
happens inside marriage?

i told her i understood that type of thinking, and have been around it my whole
life, but that it just didn’t make sense to me. too much hypocracy with all the
girls here at school having anal sex, outside of love to remain pure?

im sorry getting fucked in the ass is not pure.

i will try my best not to go there again, she is worth it.

11/25/87

kellie came to thanksgiving dinner at the parents.
it went well, my dad loved her, as he does all women and my mom was quite impressed.
i haven’t brought many women home.

we went back to the condo and she spent the night.
i feel really close to her but the no sex thing is hard.

she is a bit of a tease too.
we get naked a lot and she like me to act like im fucking her with out pentration.
i think she gets off with just that, and i get a hand job and the end, reluctantly.

12/1/87

i told kellie not having sex with her was taking its toll on me.
she spends some time with her school friends and i go out with the guys.
i get hit on all the time. it seems like when your taken you are more
of a challenge for the girls out there.

i told her i was not sure i could hold up my end of the bargain
and that i would cheat on her at some point out of sheer desire and horniness.

i think if she would just let go some and give me blow jobs, i could stay in it.

12/10/87

so last night it slipped in during one of our naked hump sessions.
we had been drinking beers and kellie seemed to just roll with it.

then comes the morning! she was pissed at me, saying it was all my
fault and it is my responsibility not to let that happen, no matter how
much she acts like its ok.

this is bull shit.
but it doesn’t seem to matter, she broke up with me.
she said i didn’t have the same beliefs as her.

i agreed but am sad i really like this girl and was trying really hard.

shay

12/15/87

holy shit that was was good.
shay moved into her new apartment before the break.
she invited me over for dinner and sex for desert.

lisa her roommate was there the whole time but didn’t seem to care?
i love how it was so easy just to lay on the bed naked with the lights on
and talk about sex, and life, matter of factly.

i think shay has been fooling around with layfield for sure
but he has some others girls on the hook too.

i hope this doesn't get me in trouble, but i know shay is discreet.

kellie

12/30/87

kellie called me that other day and told me she missed me.
i'm not sure what to think but i miss her too but she broke up
with me and i thought that was that.

she was upset that i hadn’t called her for xmas.
i told her i was respecting the break up.
she asked me how I was doing and if i was seeing any one.
i said no, which I true and told her nothing about my fling with shay.

she also said she wanted to see me when she got back next week.
she wants to talk?

1/15/88

me and kellie are back together.
he came over last night and looked beautiful.

we talked about the sex thing but never really agreed.
we made out for a while and she had to go.
im excited about this but really am unsure how it will work.

2/1/88

me and kellie took a shower last night.
man it was hot, i love her body, her tits, her pussy, all of it.

she is getting better at giving a hand job and i'm
getting better at making her cum everytime with my fingers.
sometimes i use three and she loves it.

i really hope she will get into the blowjob thing but i doubt
it. she is a bit squeemish and says cum would make her puke?

2/15

fuck.
after a great, romantic night with kellie,
and on v-day, we did it again.

im getting tired of this game.

we had so much fun, went to dinner with friends then to a dance. 
we we got home we couldn’t keep our hands off of each
other, i love the way she kisses me and touches my body.

drunk again we had the craziest sex ever, she at one time had my dick in my
mouth…shocking. i felt bad before i ever went to sleep, i knew what was next.
this morning she was crying, upset about our pattern and broke up with me again.

3/3/88

i saw kellie at the bar last night, she was with another guy
and ignored me all night. by the end of the night she was
obviously drunk. i have never felt this way before.

i ended up at her house late night looking in all the windows
trying to see if she was fucking that dude.

3/10/88

went to the new poker bar last night and ran into kellie again.
i couldn’t help myself and i confronted her again and she snapped.
some how she found out about Shannon and was pissed.

i don’t get how she can be pissed, we were broken up and now
when is dating some other dude. he was there again. i came close to
kicking his ass because he was acting all protective and cocky.

again i found myself waiting in the car close to her house, for them
to drive up. she got way drunk again and he was helping her in the house.
i waited for them to get in the house but couldn’t leave it there.

this time i went to the door and knocked and he answered.
poor guy, i was fired up and scared the shit out of him, took him
to the ground and told him if he took advantage of her while drunk
i'd come find him and beat his ass.

3/25/88

spring break was fun but not the same this year.
i wasn’t in the mood to drink as much as times before.
all i could think about was kellie and i heard she was there
but never saw her?

there were no girls that grabbed my attention.
i spent more time on the beach than ever before.

angela

4/10/88

my first red head.
i met angela through treg who is dating christine.
they have an apartment together and are sorority sisters.

i have never dated sorority girls much.
they like to do the domestic things.
we have been over to their apartment twice this week for dinner.
i think they like taking care of there men or something?

not sure where this is going but treg needed a wing man.
i think it has been this way my whole life but with treg it is the most obvious.

treg is one of those guys who can walk into a roon and turn the girls heads.
ive always had friends like that, bubba, jeff acker, david hlyes, jim fregadis
and so on. so i have learned to be the cute one who can talk.

i think that is were this is.

4/21/88

treg wanted to take the girls to the hunting ranch for a sleep over.
it has been fun having this foursome so why not?

well i almost wrecked the blazer, drunk, racing around on the dirt ranch
road with everyone in the car. the girls loved it, they wanted to go faster.
i was taking turns like a mad man letting the 4wd do its job.
i think treg broke a rib on my back speaker after we landed from big air.

we took care of that with plenty of booze back at the cabin.
the girls insiste on wine coolers and boones farm. we got hammered.
the best part of the night was the red bush.

we all were naked fooling around in separated beds, running back
and forth the to get more coolers. angela had a sweet red bush and
it was very easy to see against her white skin. we all nick named it
ficro, for fire crotch.

we all woke up very hung over and i cant even remember the sex?

kellie

5/10/88

kellie called me the other day saying she wanted to see me
and asked if she could come over for a visit friday night.

so she came by around nine which was fine, i was studying for a final.
she had been out drinking it was obvious, she was tipsy and horny.

i tried talking to her and asking what was up?
she didn’t want to talk she just started kissing me.
before you know it we were in the bedroom and naked.
we did it all this time. as usual the sex was great, kind of pent up.
she amazingly gave me a blow job next which wasn’t too bad.

i woke up in the morning and she was gone.
today is monday and i still haven’t heard from her?

personal training

6/25/88

i'm not sure how many of these older ladies from the gym
i can screw? its been a long summer, working a lot and trying to get
into the best shape of my life for senior year.

don’t get me wrong i love the sex but they are demanding.
the crazy thing about it is that these ladies really orgasm, i mean
it’s a whole different ball game. it makes me think that most of
the girls I have been with are faking it?

cant wait for august and training camp,
i hope shay will be here, I could use some laid back sex.