Prologue
6/6/2010 - 8:30 Boone Saloon
Sitting here in my favorite seat at the saloon, the corner seat,
the one with the best view, a seat that may as well be mine.
I have sat here many times the first time i lived in Boone.
These were days of being mostly alone, in the days of sweet sue, or so not sweet ?
Good beer, music, my journal and plenty of distractions. I am getting back to me.
There is a solace in this isolation, a comfort in my thoughts, I feel safe.
This is the kind of healing that I am comfortable with, me and a bar stool, a beer and a pen.
I have met some wonderful people here, I know that… regardless of the pain i feel.
These wonderful people are reaching out to me and I have barely lived here for a week.
Great folks, I really like being around all of them, beautiful, new friends, with sweet kids...
Right now however, they only remind me of what has eluded me so many times, what deceives me today... a woman.
I'm sitting here and a new friend just walked up and tried to comfort me by saying,
"be patient Payne, every one in this town gets a turn".
I think I know what he means by that, but I'm not ready to get back in line.
I'm hurt.
I'm pissed off to be truthful. Here is the crazy thing.
I'm sitting here with this feeling of loss, of failure, with all this pain...
and I am still pathetically, hopefully, looking towards the door, waiting for someone to walk in.
My broken heart still yearns for that special woman to sit near to me, catch my eye, and smile that forever smile.
I need to examine all this, why am I here? Tell my stories and see if there is any rhyme or reason?
Sitting here in my favorite seat at the saloon, the corner seat,
the one with the best view, a seat that may as well be mine.
I have sat here many times the first time i lived in Boone.
These were days of being mostly alone, in the days of sweet sue, or so not sweet ?
Good beer, music, my journal and plenty of distractions. I am getting back to me.
There is a solace in this isolation, a comfort in my thoughts, I feel safe.
This is the kind of healing that I am comfortable with, me and a bar stool, a beer and a pen.
I have met some wonderful people here, I know that… regardless of the pain i feel.
These wonderful people are reaching out to me and I have barely lived here for a week.
Great folks, I really like being around all of them, beautiful, new friends, with sweet kids...
Right now however, they only remind me of what has eluded me so many times, what deceives me today... a woman.
I'm sitting here and a new friend just walked up and tried to comfort me by saying,
"be patient Payne, every one in this town gets a turn".
I think I know what he means by that, but I'm not ready to get back in line.
I'm hurt.
I'm pissed off to be truthful. Here is the crazy thing.
I'm sitting here with this feeling of loss, of failure, with all this pain...
and I am still pathetically, hopefully, looking towards the door, waiting for someone to walk in.
My broken heart still yearns for that special woman to sit near to me, catch my eye, and smile that forever smile.
I need to examine all this, why am I here? Tell my stories and see if there is any rhyme or reason?
